sunday...no work and no play!

today has been a relaxin day...though it started on a rather discerning note... had a restless night...may be due to aches that my body has been experiencing...or was it the mind that was not lettin me sleep...not sure...or was it the change of bed...kep tossing around through the night..had been talkin to P for hours...she had slept so cud not have bothered her...don't know why messaged M...may be I thought she wud have been awake and wud have chatted with her till sleep came...the sounds outside were quite vivid....smtimes they sounded like songs..sometimes it sounded like chants...decided to say a short prayer...asking for blessings...for all around...may be that is the time god wanted me to talk to him only :) don't remember when i slept...woke up at 415...still under the aches and restlessness...this has been goin on for few days now...
is it the realisation...or guilt..or happiness...or just being content...or oblivious to what all can be done...not sure...i m not liking this sudden stagnation that has come in my life...or the fact that i m bein just laid back....don't like the feeling of being happy n gay without struggling...or without a purpose...need to identify myself again...and decide...to either take up life again or just enjoy being normal..
have so many memories to share but may be words are not enough smtimes...had a great get together birthday party last sunday...with unknown people...and known friends :) dressed...ate...and did small talk...after a long time! it was a good time out...and specially when it was with people who i love...M looked nice...a little bit of plump which suited her....and her smiles were back :) and some of them did reach her eyes! Pehel was there too :) and she looked so cute...touch wood! she is growing up so soon and i m sure she will soon be going to school! time....how it flies....it was just sm days back when i first held her...a new born who decided for me to b around...she will always be my special angel..and no matter how V spoils her...i wil try to ensure that she is not too over spoilt!
Met Neha today...in the local market...and she still looks the same...she looked happy...and truly at peace...good for her...her hubby looked simple n non fussy as well...should try and cathc up with her sometime soon...
want to start smthg new in life again...to start thinking again...to start questionin again...and to start getting decisive again..life is turning out to be quite normal...and not on track...need to push myself...and my hurting butts too :(

had to!

there are days when i realise that i did do good...when i realise that not everything in this world can be measured by money...and days when i realise that i have people around me who love me...for reasons unknown :)
yday was one such day and it made me feel really special! i have had birthdays and birthday surprises...and friends...and cakes..and all of that...including gifts :) but..to be in the company of loved ones...who decide to make each minute special, is special! it made me realise i m lucky...touch wood!
receivin n giving gifts is smthg that i always do...irrespective of occassions...or no occassions...and it felt good to have received thoughtful...beautiful and random gifts! blessings from far n near...from known to unknown....from one to many!
people around me r special...n that is the reason i exist...blissfully...shamelessly...and modestly! and i am happy tht for me..i have my 5 people who i know wud be there for me...besides my family...who will keep my smiles going!

amen!